The Power of Going the Wrong Way

Let’s be real, we all go the wrong way sometimes, some of us more than others but hey, that’s life. While going the wrong way is inevitable, the way we look at our mishaps can go a lot of different ways. 

Generally, we shame ourselves and feel bad about our missteps. We should have known better, we should have planned better, we should have done more, we should have done less. We do a whole lot of shoulding on ourselves. 

Rather than shoulding all over ourselves, what would happen if we leaned in. What if we accepted that we went the wrong way AND we learned something from it. What if our mistakes weren’t actually mistakes at all. 

I’ll share a recent example of my own. I recently showed for the first time in MANY years. I grew up showing as a Hunter so my debut as an Eventer was foreign and amazing all at the same time. It was strange but gave me total cheese face the whole day. I had a blast and am still super proud of myself. 

While I had the best time ever, I also went the wrong way. On a cross country course. In a big ol’ wooded field. I literally took the wrong path. Now if that isn’t an opportunity to pile on and give myself a hard time I don’t know what is. 

Now I had a prime opportunity to shame myself all day long. There were probably a lot of things I could, and maybe should, have done to prevent this. I should have walked the course a second time. I should have paid a lot more attention while schooling. I should have listened to that voice screaming “you’re going the wrong way” a whole lot sooner. I should have a better sense of direction for an intelligent woman….. the list goes on. 

Guess what, getting lost on your very first cross country course at your very first event isn’t great AND I’m glad it happened. 

No, I’m not lying or drunk. I really mean it, I’m glad I went the wrong way. 

Let me elaborate on why I’m glad it happened. I’m glad I got lost because I know I can find my way back.

In a literal sense, I’m glad it happened because now I don’t have to worry about what would happen if I got lost during a cross country course in the future. I’ve already done it and I turned around, galloped back down that wrong trail on the greatest horse ever and got myself to my next jump. I’m pretty proud of the fact I didn’t get upset AND I didn’t miss any jumps. 

Figuratively speaking, we get lost in life AND we find our way back. That doesn’t take the negatives out of getting lost, they are there, though the lessons are there too. Unfortunately, we tend to miss the lessons because we are too busy feeling sorry for ourselves. We grow through adversity. The good times are good of course, but they are not ripe for learning. 

It’s okay to have a pity party for yourself, in fact it can be healthy. Just don’t stay at that party too long. You’re allowed to have negative feelings and acknowledge them. Try not to fake emotions, fake it til you make it does NOT work when it comes to feelings so please don’t do it. 

You will get lost and you will find your way back. Try not to miss the lessons along the way. 

Enjoy the ride my friends.